I guess I'm not too fond of weddings, either
by Sara Sedlacek · March 12, 2008

In the past 11 days, I have run the gamut of life events. As you read last week, I attended a baby shower on Sunday. Then I got fitted for a bridesmaid’s dress on Friday and went to a funeral on Saturday. In all this commotion I have realized one thing: There are many life-changing events and I dislike the rituals that go along with all of them.

Weddings confuse me. You’ve met the person with whom you want to spend the rest of your life, so what do you do? You begin your life together by spending a ton of money and making your friends and family spend a ton of money. Shouldn’t you be isolating your friends and family and going into debt somewhere in the middle of your lives together rather than right at the beginning of it?

My best friend is getting married in August, she just got engaged at Christmas. I personally think they’re rushing it a bit. That’s fine if they want to get married immediately but that means I have to find money for a dress, money for shoes to go with the dress, money for gifts, money for hotel rooms, not to mention time to get fitted, time to pick up the dress, time to get it altered, time to lose the weight I gained over this ridiculously long winter, time to go to a bachelorette party, time to take off for all the other showers and get-togethers the occasion will most likely entail and time to wrap my head around all the time and money I’m going to be spending over the next five months. What’s worse is that if I’m not expected to spend all this time and money, I’ll be terribly sad and offended and wonder why I’ve been left out.

It seems so illogical to me to spend an extravagant amount of money on one day when you could be putting that money towards a new home, paying off debt, putting it towards a vacation, retirement or a college fund for a future child. I suppose that’s what frustrates me so much about weddings, it’s one day for the rest of your life so why not focus on the rest of your life? It’s pretty pointless to spend a lot on that one day when it’s your future you’re working towards by having that one day in the first place. Why not put the money you might spend on a wedding towards a tangible future goal?

In addition to the materialism that goes along with weddings, the stress cannot help start a marriage off on the right foot. My sister had a small, fairly inexpensive wedding and I thought she was going to rip my face off during the photos. There’s just so much going on! Shouldn’t you be worried about living stress-free as long as possible rather than starting out that way?

Most people spend more on their wedding than they can actually afford, which blows my mind. Chances are, the most you’ll remember about your wedding day is that first kiss as husband and wife and how drunk your uncle got. Granted, I’ve never been married but I’ve been to a lot of weddings and that’s all I remember about them. Our society, which is based on materialism and a gotta-have-it mentality, has created Bridezillas and a belief that if you don’t spend a lot of money on your wedding, you’re not doing it right. I think women, especially, are afraid of what people will think if they don’t go all out on the big day.

If you’re truly in love, who cares about an over the top day? You should remember it regardless of how fancy the cake was (you know, the one that sat on a table until you smashed it all over each other’s faces), how pretty the bridesmaids dresses were (and how mad the bridesmaids were when they saw the price tag on the dress they will never, ever, ever wear again) or how cute the flower girl was (especially when she got scared halfway down the aisle and turned around and ran screaming back to her mom). It’s the feelings and the smiles and the special moments you should be remembering, not the decorations or the flowers or the presents.

The wedding industry has turned as corrupt as Big Tobacco. The bridal shops order dresses three sizes too big so they can make more on the alterations and bakeries make more money on flour and sugar than should be legal. Why can’t the uniting of two souls be celebrated with cupcakes and sweatpants? As long as you’ve got the people you love around you (and several you don’t) bringing gifts, what’s the point in wasting your life savings on a huge day that everyone is dreading? Nobody likes weddings. It’s a fact and we all have to accept it. We just go for the free food and pray there’s an open bar.